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Staged

The 'stages' theory of bereavement - has anyone questioned it? Since my mother died, I've talked to several people who can't match their grief to this model.

Based on those conversations, may I be stupidly bold and propose a 'buffet' theory? It imagines the stages of bereavement as offerings on a smorgasborg - the number, combination and quantity of items selected depends on the person. No two plates will look the same.

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When I have lost people, I didn't seem to follow the stages...and I dealt very differently with a death at 18 than I did with a death just two years after that. I think it is very much dependant on circumstance and who you happen to be.

January 2015

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