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Do Not Gild the Dead

Grief doesn't work if the person lost was abusive or frightening. There is no one to miss and only angry memory. Last night I realised my only way forward was to stop expecting a turning point, where anger changed to sorrow.

Because sorrow requires affection, and no reliving of our past will produce what was never there in life. But if I concentrate on what did exist, a respect for her creativity which was the mother of mine, at very least I am calmer. We will try this and see what happens.

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January 2015

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